Bad News Never Comes Easy

Jackson's tumor was malignant. I think maybe I'd let myself hold out too much hope for good news. Either way, it sucks. I've cried all morning and battled through all sorts of emotions. Anger at the fact that innocent animals must be subjected to such a horrible disease. Cancer. The same disease that stole both of my grandfathers from me far too soon. But mostly I am sad and weepy. Sad at the thought of life without my sweet boy. Or the thought of him suffering- it's just too much to bear. He's so loving and accepting of all. It isn't fair, and of course I know life isn't fair, but still. It sucks.

He'll have three chest x-rays on Thursday to search for metastasis and have his sutures removed from his incision. In the meantime, I pray for the best. That it hasn't spread. That it was confined to his thyroid. That the worst thing we'll have to deal with is hypothyroidism and thyroid hormone supplementation.

I can take comfort in the fact that he's in no pain and that he's so happy. We played all weekend, and I'm confident of those two things.

~BKL