Rambling Thoughts

Thanks for your encouragement about Jackson. This Thursday he had three X-rays taken to check for metastasis to the lungs. Thankfully, the vet did not see anything. We are scheduled to meet with an veterinary oncologist in a couple weeks to see where we go from here, what we look for in the future, and how we manage Jackson's thyroid levels.

As all this has been happening, life has some how went on. Justin had oral surgery and did well. Now we have to wait three months for his bone to regenerate before he can get an implant. Talk about painful- physically for him and for our finances- dental work is NOT cheap!

Grad school is moving at full force. I had my first exam this week, and it went well after countless hours of studying. I have two more next week which means a whole lot more studying for me in the next several days. I also completed my first gyn exam and pap smear and male/prostate exam on human models who the school pays to be our guinea pigs. Let me just say, I don't know who in their right mind would be willing to do this- they must be making some serious $$$. The female model I had told us it was her birthday. 7 speculum insertions on my birthday? Never. My classmate said it well when she said those who volunteer for such madness are an interesting crop of human. I'll leave it at that.

It's supposed to be cool tomorrow and I'm thrilled about that. We have a great place to walk in our new neighborhood and I'm hoping I'll become motivated to get off my butt. And cooler weather always makes me think of my birthday- it's one week from today ;-)

Happy weekend and go dawgs,
~BKL

Bad News Never Comes Easy

Jackson's tumor was malignant. I think maybe I'd let myself hold out too much hope for good news. Either way, it sucks. I've cried all morning and battled through all sorts of emotions. Anger at the fact that innocent animals must be subjected to such a horrible disease. Cancer. The same disease that stole both of my grandfathers from me far too soon. But mostly I am sad and weepy. Sad at the thought of life without my sweet boy. Or the thought of him suffering- it's just too much to bear. He's so loving and accepting of all. It isn't fair, and of course I know life isn't fair, but still. It sucks.

He'll have three chest x-rays on Thursday to search for metastasis and have his sutures removed from his incision. In the meantime, I pray for the best. That it hasn't spread. That it was confined to his thyroid. That the worst thing we'll have to deal with is hypothyroidism and thyroid hormone supplementation.

I can take comfort in the fact that he's in no pain and that he's so happy. We played all weekend, and I'm confident of those two things.

~BKL

Pets are Family

I've had such an emotional day today. Last weekend, I found a sizable lump on Jackson's throat. I knew immediately that it was something new and my stomach dropped. I tried to assess the mass, and when I gently pressed on it, he showed no signs that it bothered him. His behavior is also unchanged- he's been eating, drinking, pooping, playing, ect normally. The vet agreed that the mass was very questionable and scheduled a biopsy, forewarning us that it was in a terrible location due to the large amount of blood vessels around the area.

Jackson went in for his biopsy this morning, and I literally have cried all morning. I know that I can't keep him forever, but I'm not ready to give him up. And I sure don't want him to suffer. He's my precious little fella.

When the vet made her incision for the biopsy, she ended up having a hard time getting enough tissue and actually found it easier to remove the entire mass. It was in the thyroid region, and she explained to me that in that region it's most often cancerous. Of course, I already knew this as I've read way too much information on the internet. His lymph nodes are not swollen, so we are still trying to remain hopeful for good news. We won't get the results until sometime next week. If it comes back cancerous, he'll have to have a chest X-ray to look for metastasis as it typically travels to the lungs. I'm trying to remain positive and stay calm, but it's so hard.

When I spoke to the vet on the phone just now she told me that he is doing well (he can't be picked up until 3) and that he is moving around and not complaining. She said "He's such a good boy." And he is. He's the best, so sweet and loving. I never knew I could love an animal so much.


~BKL

Chaos

They past week has been chaos, BUT we've officially moved and are loving our new place! I still have boxes to unpack in our bathroom and closet, and then we'll officially be settled in!

In other news I passed my boards and am officially an RN! Some days it seemed like I'd never get to this point. I'm looking forward to the next few semesters of my Master's program!

That's about it for what has been going on in our world, hope all is well in yours!

~BKL

Move It

We finally signed a lease and will be moving on Saturday! Photos to come!

It's been a big FAT hassle finding a house out here in a safe neighborhood, and I am OVER it. I'll be so thankful to have this behind us! The entire house is packed except for the few things we need to get us through this week, and that was a chore. Justin had to work on Saturday, so my mom came and helped me pack. Bless her!

I started Grad school this week. It's exciting. And scary. It's starting to dawn on me exactly how much responsibility I'll have as a nurse practitioner. Did I say scary?!

Like a lot of you have also mentioned, I'm ready for fall. A new season. Football. Cool weather. Bring it on!

~BKL

Somewhere to live?

Justin and I signed a one year rental lease on the townhome we currently live in last May when we moved to Atlanta. When it ended this May our landlord informed us that she was putting the unit up for sale and that we were welcome to rent month to month until it sold which is what we've been doing. A few weeks ago I received a letter in the mail informing me that the property would enter foreclosure on September 6, 2011. We had suspected our landlord was having some financial issues, but the foreclosure was a bit of a shocker. So we've been looking. And looking. And looking some more. Apparently the renting market is booming out here right now. We finally found a place we liked and that was actually still available and have been put through the ringer trying to get it. Say a prayer this one works out. We should know later this week. We just want a home in a safe neighborhood that still allows us to eat and pay our other bills. I'm hoping this is the one!

~BKL

Life

So I basically live in the hospital these days. I come home exhausted. I shower and eat and hop in bed and repeat it all over again. I've definitely learned a lot about nursing and patient care but more about life than anything else. I've made an advanced directive (plus some adjustments). Really, we all should have one. When we say our prayers each night, I can't help but give God thanks that we have our health, especially the ability to breath on our own and use our extremities. We are blessed.

~BKL